Collaboration of R.G.
SEPTEMBER 23th, 2013
PROLOGUE TO R.G.´S LETTER:
A course of this week we will be publishing a collaboration that R.G. sent us a month ago. Before giving out your letter have preferred to publish the study "Hyperia: A sophisticated mental function" because, having read it, now we understand all the deep meanings containing the notice of R.G.
I can not resist commenting naif style in which it is written, that at times recalls the ingenuity with which Hildegard of Bingen, being very young, commented with everyone hallucinations that had, until Jutta teacher warned her should be reservedthese3 matters only for those people of her real confidence.
But let´s first with the letter and let our analysis for the last day:
LETTER OF R.G. (Received August 23, 2013)
Dr. Alvarez :
First of all I congratulate you for your great efforts and commitment towards people with mental disorders. I´m very encouraged to write this letter your contributions section , which I jokingly called it "say it without fear ... is anonymous, lol!"
I want to share my hyperic experiences, I will try to do the best I can because it´s the first time I will share to a stranger but I do it because you trust and inspires me because perhaps you can obtain something. I´m not very good writer, but I hope to do well .
The first were like between 7 and 10 years ( I have 52) when I went to bed I felt like a little balloon rising to the universe and sawing the stars and planets, it was a nice feeling that made me feel very peaceful and enjoyed I think we all passed it, until one day ask my brothers about it and they did not passed , then stop having that experience.
At that time, I think I was 9 years old, on one occasion (it was the only one) , I began to laugh out loud and spinning shouting " I´m Blue "- At that moment a priest friend of the family was at at home and my mom said .. “Look no more .. turned crazy ( lol!)”. I remember feeling very happy but I do not remember having seen blue with the eyes… it was just a feeling .
was at age 13: we were at home and had a seizure, I remember watching the scene
from outside my body, my mom screamed that she was dead and asked them my
brothers to call my dad. I saw when he arrived in his car, saw the street and
everything that happened from the outside. They took me to the doctor . Now I was
already aware, I do not remember at what point was he regains consciousness.
They made me the appropriate studies and they said looked like a seizure but
that the explorations had nothing to indicate that abnormal or out epilepsy.
After that never had another similar experience being awake, but asleep I felt
for many years, was occasionally , lets say once every six months at the beginning, and
then every year, and the last time was when I was 21 still waiting for my first
child. Never went to the doctor because I thought I was dreaming, and I never
told my mom to not worry her because we had no money to go to the doctor .
Except that, I´ve always been a healthy person, never get sick .
LETTER OF R.G. (2nd part; September 24, 2013)
The following happened many years later, I was 28 or 29 years old and I started having very strong headaches , something weird because I never had a headache and now was very common . I remember that I even doubled the pain. When I went to the neurologist he studied and said that he found nothing abnormal and that all was well, that it surely was stress. I do not take any pain medication and pains took off alone. But strange things began to happen at home, like the lid of the washing machine raised alone and I am very distracted as to realized it, taking account of this phenomenon after It step several times . That´s something that I never found explanation. At that time my grandmother, to whom I loved very much and looked like a second mother, died. Once was preparing food when I felt very sleepy and leave everything half and went to bed. I did not sleep, I just lay down and I felt that I started to turn, was a perfect twist that made me feel I was very close to God. It was not a religious person or believer in God, but I felt very close. Later I had a vivid dream in which I saw my grandmother and told me it was fine and showed me the place where he was. (This happens to me still spinning, but now it occasionally).
Next came a few years later: I was turning 33 when, for no apparent reason as he had no problems and lived quiet, I began to feel a very great longing and crying for no reason, and the washing machine began again to stop the cycle because the lid rose , things at home were broken without any reason, glass vases burst in my hand, and it was then that one day I started having automatic writing and on one occasion made a very nice picture of Jesus ( I can not draw ). I had no fear and even I amused me because I thought ... and this why? But hey ... I talked about it with my husband and he said me he did not understand, and he did not want to hear about it. But I wanted to know what it was and that´s how I get to the church, a priest who was reading the iris told me the devil I was running around because I was away from God. My mom who lived in USA asked my husband to take me to another town nearby to see a priest known for her who exorcized people. I was nothing more for them not to say that if I was running around the devil and that´s why I don´t allow him to exorcize me. We did the ritual and nothing happened. The priest told us not to worry, it was not the devil.
I decided to seek God and I got into the Religion termed the Renewal of the Holy Spirit. It brought me some problems because my husband said: “What´s next!” because I spent the night there. My kids did the homework there because I carried them with me. But after a while I saw that it was not what I wanted. I don’t found answers and church disillusioned me. It was then that something happened that suddenly started reading a lot. I felt a great attraction for the spiritual books. There was writing what I was writing when I was automatic writing. I was very sleepy and when I slept I had very vivid dreams. One of them was under as much as being in the womb of God. Those were the words I could put on after a while. All this led me to start my journey of spiritual growth. I divorce and how it was my decision I paid the consequences because my husband stopped support us financially, but I was fortunate to have friends who always supported me morally and, as I was new in the prayer group where I met them and they were in the same search, they cared me much for what I could give them at the time. At this time I was to a psychiatrist, he studied me and told me I had a lot of activity in the frontal lobe but did not give me treatment ( That´s good!).
One day in
an existential crisis I broke all the letters, I did not see the point why I
was wrong and had to work to raise my three children. I began to study
psychology and when I get to study the different pathologies I was identified with
every one of them (something very common in psychology students). I did not speak about this to
anyone because I was embarrassed, except to my friends who by then we term with
affection each to others “little crazies”. Never take these experiences as
crazy or as pathological and even had fun with the way synchronicities appeared
in my life.
LETTER OF R.G. (3rd and last part; September 25, 2013)
The thirst to learn to balance my energy led me to take courses in all that was on my way related to energy and spiritual growth. He learned very easily, in fact I graduate college with honourable mention and automatic qualification. My first case was about schizophrenia… not less! It was a bad diagnosis for the patient because this label damaged her very much. She leaves the medication because she could not buy it and our only way was to work with what I had learned about energy, balance your energy, and achieve to find her core, helping her move away past stigma and became another person. Now was functional, and even made the decision to go with a boyfriend who did not do very well and who left later. The important thing was that she dared to live her own life… she had over 40 years old and lived entirely dependent his mother! Currently works in sales in hotels and she is independent.
I think that sometimes we accept labels because we obtain a secondary benefit from them, as belonging to some group or feeling that someone cares of us... well that among some other causes. I know there are cases where medication is needed, but also that there are many others that could avoid making a diagnosis of a mental disorder which affects both the person and his family.
As for my case, I used different techniques led me to find that core and my job is to keep. A last experience brought me to lose that fullness that I had achieved, but I am recovering it again. It was due to a road accident during I had a near-death experience that marked much my life ... it was on April 16 last year and the date that I think I was reborn.... Following the accident I started to lose it all and now I´m starting again. To have lost all guided me to work in the affective attachments especially, because my sense of life was my children and three grandchildren. Now my life meaning is myself and I have almost got it ... I need a little more, but I have the attitude and will to continue to grow, and I know I will bring back.
Doctor all this was without medication because I never thought I was sick ... I think people insensitive, materialistic , selfish and frivolous is more sick. Those people do not see or hear anything from inside are what I consider very sick and needing help.
If the consequence of my spiritual growth is the loneliness, I assume because really glad I´m not alone , I´m me and I really enjoy it and enjoy every experience that life gives me .
I know this letter is long and I appreciate the time it takes to read it , as I said is the first time I do this and I hope its contents bring something , because it helped me a lot. I would also like to ask your opinion: I know those epileptic seizures were associated with my peculiar experiences, but I had these experiences before the seizures apparition. So far I read your posts I take up again this question to which I previously do not given much importance Now I would like to know more about this topic because in the first two medical evaluations that I received the seizures not come out at all, only in the last , but I do not received treatment. I surpassed them already because I have worked in all aspects meditation physical health, emotional, and mental.... But I would love to know your point of view.
COMENTARY TO R.G.´S LETTER (September 26, 2013) :
We said the first day, in the preface of this writing, that it contained a deep meaning for Newpsychiatry , and that was more easily grasped after reading " Hiperia: a sophisticated mental function ". Indeed, the life experience that tells R. G. in your letter is a prototypical case of what hyperia and why hyperia must be conceived and understood as a phenomenon in its own right and, therefore, different and separate both epilepsy and mental illness .
Indeed, RG, with the same naïf that Hildegard of Bingen, when speaking of his childhood, and with the same naturally as Angela of Foligno, when referring to family problems, she describes mental automatisms occurred along her as if they were completely normal events. No matter how extraordinary they are, she lives as something natural, something that needs to happen and it is logical to happen. R. G. hipéricas experiences living in complete self-harmony, without considering for a moment that can be pathological phenomena.
The neurologist that assessed her when she was thirteen, not finding anything in the additional examinations, refrained from any diagnosis. Much luckier involves little interventionist psychiatrist’s performance, who also is inhibited to any diagnosis, merely casting a mere opinion on a possible frontal hyperactivity: "told me I had a lot of activity in the frontal lobe but did not give me treatment (What good!)"
And so good! This exquisitely neutral attitude of psychiatrist prevented RG were diagnosed with a mental disorder, starting the almost always without end path of "mentally ill". I emphasize the attitude of this psychiatrist because it is not common in our specialty: probably because psychiatry rests on quicksand and rarely there are clear signs that we can cling to, psychiatrists have a tendency to over- diagnose. Whatever the reason referred to above of psychiatry as a very soft science, or for other reasons, it seems that we are more relaxed when we are able to tell the patient: "Look, what you have is...." It is the magic of the word, which reassures the patient but also the doctor.
Anyway, R. G. is free from this dangerous path and continues his life trying to make sense of the extraordinary phenomena that she is experiencing. Like so many other "sentinels of the deep" that preceded her, the life of RG can not be other than a search engine. As any mystic, as Herman Hesse in Steppenwolf or Proust in The receherche du temps perdu , like so many other artists and religious people, the life of RG focuses on search. And curiously, searching for the beaten paths of mystical: attention to the inside, detachment asceticism, meditation, contemplation...